Christmas Catastrophe

A humorous Christmas Poem in the light of "Twas the Night Before Christmas"

Twas the day before Christmas and all through the compound
All the elves were hustling and running around
Trying to pack all the toys on the sleigh
Hoping to get me off and away

When at last it was time, the sleigh was so full
It was almost too much for the reindeer to pull
Then finally we were moving and about to take off
When suddenly Rudolph let out a big cough

His eyes glazed over and his heart seemed to burst
He went down in a tumble and then things got worse
I pulled hard on the reigns but was a little too late
There wasn't a chance to save the other eight

I saw on their faces a look of dismay
As I watched each reindeer pulled under the sleigh
The sounds of bones snapping was all I could hear
The screams and cries of nine tiny reindeer

The elves could do nothing but stand there and stare
As my sleigh flipped up and spun through the air
As luck would have it I was thrown out of the way
But the poor little reindeer were tied to the sleigh

I landed safely but to my despair
There was only a trail of blood, guts and hair
At the end of that trail all there was to see
were eight mutilated reindeer staring back at me

There was Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Comet
The grizzly sight made me turn and vomit
Never in my life have I felt so stupid
As when I realized that I threw up on Cupid

I turned and tripped over the body of Blitzen
and fell face first into the remains of Vixen
Donner was in pieces all over the ground
but that damned Rudolph was nowhere to be found

All of my thoughts became but a blur
My blood and my anger began to stir
I picked up an antler with intentions to kill
and I followed his trail up and over a hill

Then when I found him I couldn't help but to feel sad
Looking at his still carcass I really felt bad
Then I stuck the antler right through Rudolph's head
Just to make sure that bastard was dead