Green Christmas

Along with demented poems, I have also enjoyed re-writing Christmas songs. Recently my best friend has started creating music for the songs and having me sing them. Let me tell you the original cuts are not good, but thank God for technology. Using a special program, he is able to adjust my singing so that it is in tune as well as in key. After listening to how bad my singing is in the following song, and after you stop laughing at my singing, try to remember that THAT is AFTER he fixed it.

NOTE - Clicking the Title will open a new window to the Kingdom of Ken MySpace page where you can play the song. You may have to wait a moment for the song to start playing.

I'm Dreaming of a Green Christmas

I'm dreaming of a green Christmas
'cause I hate that freaking snow
My feet are so freezing
It's so excruciating
To feel frost bite on my toes

I'm dreaming of a green Christmas
I swear that ice could not be seen
When I feel and ruptured my spleen
So I moved to where the Christmas' are green

"I think you all know what I'm talking about out there. I mean how miserable it makes you feel when your scraping off your car... and when the wind blows and it blows it right back in your face and it goes down your shirt. Tell me you like that! How many car accidents does it create because people don't know how to drive in that crap? How many people die every year because they're shoveling that snow and their hearts cant handle it? And it's all because of that damned snow! Can anyone out there give me just one good thing about snow?"

"What? Snow is good for a lot of good things like skiing, snowboarding, sledding, snow mobiles, snow angels snowmen..."

(BLAM)

"Does anybody else have anything good to say about snow? Anybody? Anybody at all! I didn't think so. I think were good now because snow sucks! I tell you what. The next kid who throws a snowball at me... I'm running him over with my car! I hope your listening to this Mrs. Bigglesworth, because it's your little Billy who's gonna take it next!"


I'm dreaming of a green Christmas
'cause I hate that freaking snow
My feet are so freezing
It's so excruciating
To feel frost bite on my toes

I'm dreaming of a green Christmas
I swear that ice could not be seen
When I feel and ruptured my spleen
So I moved to where the Christmas' are green