The cartoons, photographs and Poems I place on this sight are my own originals. My art work, my ideas, and my camera. The jokes I place are nothing more than jokes that are some of my favorites. I do not claim in any way that the jokes are mine!

Dec 22, 2009

Santa Might Die Tonight

This is another installment of Christmas songs I am rewriting. Yes we are back to fixing my voice. :o) I do not claim to have a good singing voice and in this case it came in handy.

NOTE - Clicking the Title will open a new window to the "Kingdom of Ken" MySpace page where you can play the song. You may have to choose the song as well as wait a moment for the song to start playing.

Santa Might Die Tonight
(To the tune of "Here Comes Santa Claus")

Santa: “Ho Ho Ho, How we doing up there Rudolph?”
Rudolph: “Lose some weight! You’re killing us up here fat ass!”
Santa: “Ho Ho Ho, Son of a bitch, I’m out of scotch! Hey Rudolph there’s a 7-Eleven. Let’s hit it before we pass it.”
Rudolph: “Oh my God! I better be paid double time for this fat man!”

Here comes Santa Claus
Here comes Santa Claus
He’s Going to fast to land
Vixen and Blitzen and all his reindeer
He’s pulling on the reins
Santa’s screaming, I must be dreaming
Its one chaotic sight
Forget your stockings and say your prayers
Cause Santa might die tonight

Santa: “Holy mother of Pearl! We’re coming in too steep! Pull it up Rudolph. Pull it up!”
Rudolph: “I think I pulled something. I can’t lift you. I… Aaaahhhhhhh” (Crash)

I saw Santa Claus
I saw Santa Claus
Crash on Christmas eve
I saw the bag that is filled with toys
Being crushed inside the sleigh
Hear those Reindeer breaking legs
Oh What a horrible sight
Jump in bed, cover up your head
Cause Santa might die tonight

Santa: “Rudolph. Are you okay Rudolph? Are you there?”
Rudolph: “Yea, I think I’m gonna live Santa. I’m okay.”
Santa: “ That… that’s good. Because when I get a hold of you, I’m gonna kill you. You little son of a bitch! You ruined my sleigh! You ruined my sleigh you little son of a bitch, I’m gonna kill you! Ohhh, I can really use that scotch.”

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