Can I Buy You a Drink

This is the 3rd installment of Christmas songs I am rewriting. Unlike the other songs, this one never needed my voice to be enhanced. :o) I do not claim to have a good singing voice and in this case it came in handy.

Warning: This song is a bit sexist at times and has some swearing. If this will offend you, I would advise you to not listen to it.

NOTE - Clicking the Title will open a new window to the "Kingdom of Ken" MySpace page where you can play the song. You may have to choose the song as well as wait a moment for the song to start playing.

Can I Buy You a Drink
(To the tune of "Do You Hear What I Hear")

Hey Bartender, give me another drink will ya? I need to knock some of the edge off of me if I’m gonna pick up some of these hot chicks here… oh God, you’re just a coat rack! This is embarrassing! Oohhh, would you look at the jugs on that redhead over there. I gotta have a talk with her.

Said the drunk man to the hot redhead
Can I buy you a drink?
On this Christmas Eve hot redhead
Can I buy you a drink?
A beer, a beer doesn’t this feel right
I bet you’ll get lucky tonight

You know you’re gonna get lucky tonight. (SLAP) What the, hey where you going, aww who needs ya!

Said the drunk man to the cute brunette
Can I buy you a drink?
On this Christmas Eve cute brunette
Can I buy you a drink?
Hot damn, hot damn, you sure are looking fine
You’ll want me if you have some wine
If that look in your eyes is a sign

You’re gonna want (SLAP) Ahh that hurts! I think I met your sister. Is she a redhead?

Said the drunk man to the sexy blond
Can I buy you a drink?
On this Christmas Eve sexy blond
Can I buy you a drink?
A shot, a shot, of bourbon on the rocks
This next line may be a shock
I‘d love to give you a big (SLAP)

Kiss… I wanna give you a kiss! Whats wrong with that? Son of a bitch that hurts!

Said the drunk man to the biker chick
Can I buy you a drink? .... Oh God I’m getting plastered.
On this Christmas Eve biker chick
Can I buy you a drink?
A smile, a smile, I get from you a sigh
As I slide my hand up a thigh
Oh God, I think you’re a guy

I tell you what. You just stay right there. I’m gonna go look around. I don’t know what’s going on, I mean the putting the sausage down my pants thing just isn’t working. I wonder if maybe I shoulda put it i the front. (SNIFF SNIF) Oh God, my hand smells like sweaty balls. I gotta go wash this.